Feb. 12th, 2007

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Stood up from my desk today and managed to swipe the desktop clear of everything. When I got around to the front, there was Arrogant Ass (a present from a graduating class a few years ago, given to me along with Rampant Rabbit and Placid Pig) broken in half and no, I will not succumb to all the obvious half-assed jokes either! Just to make things worse, I couldn't even find one of his back legs (and nor will I trot out the tired "You know what's wrong with being half-assed? It's a quarter ass too much in my book!" joke). Now I only have Placid Pig left since Rampant Rabbit went the way of all good rabbits a while ago. Damn!
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More apple-related badness again today. Did the usual, and twisted the stalk out before eating it. My hands got a bit wet which was strange but I couldn't look down as I had to drive around a couple of slow cars. I did manage to throw the stalk out the window this time (don't bother with the "litter" lecture!). I took a big bite out of it (and I mean a BIG bite) and was rewarded with a spray of foul tasting stuff. Yech! I looked down at the apple - it was rotten throughout (my wet hands had been the foul brown gunk leaking out) and I had just bitten into this rotting brown cesspit of an apple! It is hours later and a) I still feel queasy and b) I can still a taste that stuff. I can only be thankful that I did not find a maggot in it or, worse still, half a maggot!

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

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