Profound, profane or pedestrian

Just before I left for work this morning, I remembered that I hadn't watered the plants out the front. I went around to the outside tap to fill a bucket to water them. As I turned the tap on, it broke apart in my hand and water started spraying everywhere. I tried to get the tap back together but couldn't (and got soaked in the process). I knocked on the door and eventually got someone to turn the water off at the mains. As I stood, there was an agonizing pain in my back that just about floored me.

Long story short, I had popped a rib in my back and, one painful adjustment later, I could at least stand up right! I have spent the rest of the day resting and not touching taps unless necessary!

Driving to the shops today, I looked over at a house and thought "Well, that's pretty poor Christmas light display!"

When I got level with the house, I realised that it was the silent alarm flashing indicator light for the house!

*sigh*

I must read something complex soon or my brain will start trickling out of my ears.

I mean that literally - as I was walking towards the microwave at work today, I tripped over a clearly suspicious and slippery patch of thin air and dumped my entire chicken casserole/rice/vegetable lunch all over the floor. Fortunately it was lino on the floor so it only took about ten minutes to clear up. I was hungry for the rest of the day though!

On Tuesdays, I have a chronic memory failure about what I am supposed to do on the way home from work so, as a joke, a co-worker stuck a Post-it to the front of my beanie that said "Get fuel, pick up books". I wore it for a while and then the joke wore off so I took it off. "Somehow" the note got reattached but I didn't notice.

It was only as I was entering the servo to pay for my fuel and I got a very strange look (and giggles and pointing!) from some customers coming out of the store that I realised that the note was still attached to my hat - I have driven all the way down to the servo, filled up my car and then walked across the really quite large forecourt with the damn thing stuck to my head!

I was trying to reseal a pile of envelopes with sellotape at work today. About half-way through the job, I looked down and wondered who had made such a mess of all the envelopes - and then realised it was me. I must have cut my finger on the tape dispenser blade very early on in the job (about the second or third envelope) and every envelope after that had at least one drop of blood somewhere on it. The funny thing was that the cut itself was tiny but it bled all over the place, even over the table as I later discovered. I ended up throwing out about twenty envelopes that couldn't be salvaged and having to print them all over again, once I got a plaster for my finger.

One of my less successful activities at work, I think.

I spent almost the entire stinking hot day (37C) demolishing the pergola and then at about 6pm we went down to the beach. So far today, I have wielded saws, screwdrivers, hammers, shovels and stood on the roof with nary a scratch. Now I unpack the car, pick up the serviettes and bits and pieces and then lift them high to get the kids' boogie board under my arm. My ear kind of stings but I keep walking down towards the beach.

When I get, my partner says "What the hell happened to you?" I am none the wiser until I look down at my shirt and realise that the front has a bit of blood on it. I drop everything to figure out where it came from. It turns that there was a large knife in the bits and pieces I hefted onto my shoulder and the blade knicked the top of my ear. Blood has trickled down the back of my ear, down my neck and then onto my shirt. Of course, the cut is all of about 1/4 inch long but the results are way out of proportion to the cut's size!

Don't brush your teeth with Deep Heat - it taste like hell and it makes your mouth very hot. Damn similar-looking white/red/blue tubes!

..... pour boiling hot Thai green curry from the pot onto your groin.

That is all.

(apart from UUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFOOOOWOWOWWOWOWOW"