I just don't get the whole beach thing
Jan. 13th, 2007 10:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
catalyst2Spent 6 hours at the beach today. It was a supposed to be 38degC (100degF) today but only got to 36C (97F) so we went to the beach. I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate going to the beach. Did I mention that I hate going to the beach? Now, I know some of you maybe suffering in snow drifts higher than your head but wait until I explain my perspective.
It is a hot, hot day. I live in a house designed to stay cool for as long as possible - heavy drapes, sunblinds, north-south construction axis etc. I have fans and cold water and a fridge and cool showers (and TV and DVD and X-box and .....). See, home good. So what happens? I go to a place with no shade, no drinking water, no electrical appliances and have to slather myself in white glop the consistency of slightly softened lard. (Having had personal experience of being covered head-to-foot in such lard, I can vouch for the fact that it is very unpleasant. I lost a bet, OK - just don't ask!)
Because I am going bald, I have to put on a wide-brimmed hat - and end up looking like a sartorially-challenged hobbit.
I then have to eat food that now contains a new food group - sand - whilst trying to balance a plastic plate one micron thick on my knee. Remember that that knee is covered inch-thick with lard already and you can see how lunch becomes sand-sausages with sand salad and sand sauce with two slices of sand bread.
I do not like those sand eggs and ham, Sand-I-am, no, I do not!
It is a hot, hot day. I live in a house designed to stay cool for as long as possible - heavy drapes, sunblinds, north-south construction axis etc. I have fans and cold water and a fridge and cool showers (and TV and DVD and X-box and .....). See, home good. So what happens? I go to a place with no shade, no drinking water, no electrical appliances and have to slather myself in white glop the consistency of slightly softened lard. (Having had personal experience of being covered head-to-foot in such lard, I can vouch for the fact that it is very unpleasant. I lost a bet, OK - just don't ask!)
Because I am going bald, I have to put on a wide-brimmed hat - and end up looking like a sartorially-challenged hobbit.
I then have to eat food that now contains a new food group - sand - whilst trying to balance a plastic plate one micron thick on my knee. Remember that that knee is covered inch-thick with lard already and you can see how lunch becomes sand-sausages with sand salad and sand sauce with two slices of sand bread.
I do not like those sand eggs and ham, Sand-I-am, no, I do not!
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