catalyst2 | Surprise in my lunch

I'm fairly conservative with my lunches but they do seem to just happen, by magic apparently - because I certainly don't make them but there they are every morning in the fridge, a surprise every day. I am thankful for that surprise, I really am. However, sometimes that surprise takes an even more unexpected twist, indeed, beyond the bounds of human decency today. I open up lunch after heating it (note to self: it is better to check before heating as I discovered last year when my steaming pile of coleslaw and boiling hot bowl of caesar salad really didn't work out quite as I was expecting!) Inside are baked potato, corn, cauliflower, broccoli and a VEGETARIAN PASTY. Yes, a VEGE-FUCKING-TARIAN PASTY. It is a contradiction in terms - as dodgy as the average pasty is, the sole redeeming feature it has is the vast array of saturated fats, gristle, bone, blood, sinew, skin and some "other unidentified meat products" that vomit forth when the first incision is made. Instead, it's peas and carrots and FUCKING soya bits and onion and other "healthy" shit.

IF I HAD WANTED "HEALTHY" BITS IN THE FIRST PLACE, I WOULDN'T BE EATING A PASTY WOULD I?

OK, I am better now and really do love my lunches.

P.S. Don't tell anyone but the pasty wasn't quite as bad as the above rant may make it seem. After all, it is just the principle of the thing, isn't it?

Hello?
Hello?
Is this thing on?