See, this is why you should be discreet

Started to check the messages on my mobile and was surprised that a "message" started playing before I had to select any options. Thinking that it was a proper message for me, I started to write down the "message" only to realise that it was two people having a very *ahem* intimate phone call!

I hung up and started the process again - and it was them again, having "progressed" a little further! Thought I would leave it for a minute or two.

Third time was not so lucky for me, lucky for them because they were "finishing" off - she, in particular, had a very loud grunty sort of a squeal!

I'm afraid to touch my phone again and still haven't got the messages off it - I *really* don't want to catch this couple in round 2!

I'll never eat another sausage again

Well, maybe not for the next week or two. Just back from cooking 500 of the fuckers (in 2 hours!) for a fund-raising barbecue thingy. My eyes are full of smoke, and I can feel the grease in my beard and hair. Still, $500 for 2 hours work - not too bad!