Now I only need to leave the laptop for one thing

So when I boot up, I shouldn't be alarmed by the smoke any more - because it may just be coming from my George Foreman USB iGrill? Seriously, add a USB toilet in there (not literally in the grill because "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" and "Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!") and I'm set for life.

Morons!

Oh good grief!

I eat stuff, a lot of stuff, indeed a lot of very bad stuff but Baseball’s Best Burger takes the prize!

The delicious recipe: The burger .... consists of a thick and juicy burger topped with sharp cheddar cheese and two slices of bacon. The burger is then placed in between each side of a Krispy Kreme Original Glazed doughnut.

Can't ..... speak ......

Well, it's a different logic

Cars driving too fast? Nobody gives way? Hazardous roads? Well take down every sign and that'll make it better! Too stupid for words - apparently not!

And more on the weird news front

Apparently (you can always tell that it is going to be one of *those* kinds of articles when I start with that!), "what is good for humans is good for monkeys".

Or at least, that monkeys are as gullible as humans, perhaps? Seriously, US$4 500 for a feng shui expert for monkeys?

I loved this quote:
"We don't have any books on feng shui for monkeys." Good reason for that, mate - YOU IDIOT!