Drunk can be funny - up to a point

[catalyst2]

We went out to dinner tonight. About halfway through, one of the group had to go out to outside to make a call so I went outside for a bit of fresh air with them.


Up staggers a very drunk, but very well-dressed guy with two large and (presumably) heavy bags of groceries. He walks past us and straight into one of the pillars in front of the restaurant. Being drunk, he bounces off unharmed but a bit stunned. He tries again and bounces off again.

Now he gets cunning and tries to get around the concrete pillar instead of through it. So far so good - except that he tries to circle around the pillar facing it rather the more sensible (and presumable strategy of choice when sober) side-step. Consequence? He circles around the entire circumference of the pillar and finds himself where he started, with the pillar still thwarting his forward progress.

Now he gets really serious - he puts the bags down and goes the other way around the pillar but of course now simply repeats the same maneuver in the opposite direction. Frustrated, he does the most sensible thing you would do in this situation - he threatens the pillar! Having severely chastised his elusive antagonist, he again does the next most logical step. He picks up his bags for a second time, takes three steps back and - charges the pillar, head first.

Yes, he laid himself out cold and gashed his forehead pretty badly so we had to call the ambulance.

This reminds why I don't drink any more!

Comments

[asgaja.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's just... O.o

I wonder just how drunk one has to be to do something like that. Maybe now's a good time to be glad I still have my mind with me when I get drunk.

[catalyst2.livejournal.com]

That's exactly why I don't drink - I can only drink to vast excess and have done similar (but far less public) things in the distant past whilst drunk! The last night I ever drank, I fell backwards out of a first floor window.
The good:
Fortunately, it was mid-winter in Northern England and the rose bed below had been buried under about 3 feet of straw (hay? - soft dry yellow stuff at any rate) which cushioned my fall.

The bad: it was a rose bed in amongst that straw (hay?) and I ended up having a hell of a lot of thorns removed from my back.

The one good thing was that I was so drunk that I was completely relaxed when I fell so, apart from the aforementioned thorn-related injuries, I was fine. But no more alcohol for me - ever! Now 27 years since I have drunk any alcohol apart from one glass of champagne when I got married and one mouthful of champagne to toast my father's seventieth birthday!

[asgaja.livejournal.com]

Ouch, ouch, ouch. >_< Well I can understand the no drinking part then, yaiks. Worst thing I've ever done was.. um, throw up? ^_^''

I take pride in being able to drink somewhat moderate amounts.

[tijnat.livejournal.com]

I didn't drink at all until I was 20, then tried to make up for it in the next 10 years before (mostly) giving it up. I have rarely had a drink for a good many years and most of my family and friends don't even both offering me anything alcoholic any more. I don't think I ever did anything quite that bad - at least I didn't knock myself out - but I do recall one or two embarrassing occasions.

Good for you for not drinking, catalyst2.

[catalyst2.livejournal.com]

I am vicious though - I now derive a great deal of pleasure watching other people make utter asses of themselves when they are drunk.

I'm a bad, bad man!

[tijnat.livejournal.com]

Naw, just human! ;D