How hard can it be?
Nov. 12th, 2006 09:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
catalyst2It is in the name: "2-minutes" - so how long can it take to make noodles? Well, apparently it can take me 44 minutes!
I fill the pot up with water and, as I swing around to put it on the element, I catch the edge of the bench and tip the pot right over.
RESULT: water across the cooktop, bench and into the top shelf of the cupboard.
ACTION: clean up cooktop, bench and top shelf of cupboard
CUMULATIVE TIME: 6 minutes
(Note to self - always check the floor too as some may have dripped down there - it will mean I won't do one of those windmill skids (you know, like Chaplin would do when trying to walk on ice!)
Refill pot and put it on element. Element won't light and the box of matches has fallen behind the fridge. Pull fridge out (and hear crash in fridge).
RESULT: 2-litre water jug in fridge tipped over so, when I opened the fridge door, my feet were soaked in a tidal wave of icy water
ACTION: once the screaming stopped (who was that wuss? damn - it was me!), mop up floor, refill jug, put in fridge, push fridge back in, pull fridge back out (because I forgot why I pulled it out in the first place), get matches and then push fridge back in.
CUMULATIVE TIME: 13 minutes
Light element with damp matches. Only takes 9 matches. Turn element the wrong way and turn it off. Use another 3 matches to light element again
RESULT: pot on stove and heating up
ACTION: none all is well
CUMULATIVE TIME: 16 minutes
Element goes out when I open window to cool down after the exertions of all the mopping up. Element lights up first time. Throw match away. Element goes out again. Another match gone - only 17 left in the box - will they be enough?
CUMULATIVE TIME: 18 minutes
Water starts to boil. Try to take lid off but burn fingers because of the high-pressure jet of steam firing out from the vent in the top of the pot lid.
RESULT: have to put cold water on burn on fingers for at least five minutes as it painful and very red
ACTION: fingers numb but pain reduced
CUMULATIVE TIME: 25 minutes
Make second attempt to take pot lid off - got smart now and use teatowel to protect me from the steam.
RESULT: tea towel catches fire and burns the underside of my arm
ACTION: scream (again), dump tea towel in the sink and put arm under cold water for at least 5 minutes. Arm now numb from fingertips to above the elbow - but NO PAIN!
CUMULATIVE TIME: 34 minutes
Put flavouring and noodles into pot and cook away.
Noodles cook - but I think it took more than 2 minutes!
Pour cooked noodles into bowl. Foot hurts.
RESULT: look down and realise that the boiling liquid in the pot has not poured well, most of it going onto the bench and then dripping onto my slippered foot, boiling liquid has now soaked through.
ACTION: scream (yet again), rip slipper off right foot and run into bathroom so I can run cold water on my foot for ...... - well, you know the drill by now! Right foot and ankle now numb along with arm from fingertips to above the elbow - some pain but manageable!
CUMULATIVE TIME: 44 minutes
Get bowl of noodles and start eating.
44 minutes - I love "instant noodles"!
I fill the pot up with water and, as I swing around to put it on the element, I catch the edge of the bench and tip the pot right over.
RESULT: water across the cooktop, bench and into the top shelf of the cupboard.
ACTION: clean up cooktop, bench and top shelf of cupboard
CUMULATIVE TIME: 6 minutes
(Note to self - always check the floor too as some may have dripped down there - it will mean I won't do one of those windmill skids (you know, like Chaplin would do when trying to walk on ice!)
Refill pot and put it on element. Element won't light and the box of matches has fallen behind the fridge. Pull fridge out (and hear crash in fridge).
RESULT: 2-litre water jug in fridge tipped over so, when I opened the fridge door, my feet were soaked in a tidal wave of icy water
ACTION: once the screaming stopped (who was that wuss? damn - it was me!), mop up floor, refill jug, put in fridge, push fridge back in, pull fridge back out (because I forgot why I pulled it out in the first place), get matches and then push fridge back in.
CUMULATIVE TIME: 13 minutes
Light element with damp matches. Only takes 9 matches. Turn element the wrong way and turn it off. Use another 3 matches to light element again
RESULT: pot on stove and heating up
ACTION: none all is well
CUMULATIVE TIME: 16 minutes
Element goes out when I open window to cool down after the exertions of all the mopping up. Element lights up first time. Throw match away. Element goes out again. Another match gone - only 17 left in the box - will they be enough?
CUMULATIVE TIME: 18 minutes
Water starts to boil. Try to take lid off but burn fingers because of the high-pressure jet of steam firing out from the vent in the top of the pot lid.
RESULT: have to put cold water on burn on fingers for at least five minutes as it painful and very red
ACTION: fingers numb but pain reduced
CUMULATIVE TIME: 25 minutes
Make second attempt to take pot lid off - got smart now and use teatowel to protect me from the steam.
RESULT: tea towel catches fire and burns the underside of my arm
ACTION: scream (again), dump tea towel in the sink and put arm under cold water for at least 5 minutes. Arm now numb from fingertips to above the elbow - but NO PAIN!
CUMULATIVE TIME: 34 minutes
Put flavouring and noodles into pot and cook away.
Noodles cook - but I think it took more than 2 minutes!
Pour cooked noodles into bowl. Foot hurts.
RESULT: look down and realise that the boiling liquid in the pot has not poured well, most of it going onto the bench and then dripping onto my slippered foot, boiling liquid has now soaked through.
ACTION: scream (yet again), rip slipper off right foot and run into bathroom so I can run cold water on my foot for ...... - well, you know the drill by now! Right foot and ankle now numb along with arm from fingertips to above the elbow - some pain but manageable!
CUMULATIVE TIME: 44 minutes
Get bowl of noodles and start eating.
44 minutes - I love "instant noodles"!
